make the call. write the note. send the text.

Drums In The Fog

Listless.
Morning fog.
Catatonic.
Am I forgetful?
No. Because there’s nothing.
Nothing that’s worth forgetting.
The only proof I left my bed
Is the coffee stain on my t-shirt

Frantic.
Nighttime drums.
Something’s coming.
And I’m not ready,
And everyone will know,
And things will only get worse,
And there is no way to get out.
I can’t seem to ever get it right.

Tired
To the bone.
And even worse
Sometimes to my soul.
The fog returns again,
And muffles the sound of drums.
I watch the wall lighten. New day.
Blank stare instead of racing heartbeat.

Which one?
Which one’s worse?
Each is too much;
Together is worse.
Feeling nothing, then all.
Scrambling my exhausted brain.
Just get up and do the next thing.
Breathe in and out, brush my teeth and hair

Phone call.
Text message.
A few nice words
Reaching through the fog.
Gossamer strand; lifeline.
Even though he can’t relate
He wants me to know someone cares.
One among those who gave up on me.

Lifeline.
Golden rule.
I can’t forget
Just how much it means.
A note, a call, or text.
Just when I’m disappearing
He tells me he can still see me.
I call another who is fading.

Progress?
Not always.
Maybe today
I see beyond me.
My fingers typing hope
To another trapped in fog.
Who hears drums closing the distance
Who needs to know I think she matters.

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6 thoughts on “make the call. write the note. send the text.

  1. This touched me in places I try to push away. Been thinking about it all morning. It’s hard to struggle with that fog when I. have. everything. And it’s summer. Focusing on others helps push it away. But that’s not easy either when my tendency is to just want to sit. or sleep. I give it to God five, six, ten times a day.
    Blessings to you for courage to speak this poem.
    And that’s a striking photo — see how the fog is in the distance, while the clarity is up close? I pray it be so for you.

    1. I hope in a useful way. A couple of people called me and invited me to coffee this week. I was so blown away over the timing of such simple gestures, that I felt moved to write this.

      “a camera that seeks God’s presence…” I love that. I just read your “About” page. lovely. 🙂

  2. Beautiful, raw, honest…perhaps transparency can dissipate the fog- these words on the screen are haunting in a way- you have given voice to the hidden inside struggle, that gray area of self loathing that we struggle with, that everyone struggles with. Depression, busyness, materialism, on and on- we deal with it differently but it is there, lingering. Thank you for these deep-heart thoughts.

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